Duck and Run

I guess it didn't bother him.
He avoided me all weekend. I was 20 miles away and he avoided me.
I finally got a hold of him last night.
He doesn't want to have a girlfriend right now. He doesn't want to put himself through that on top of everything else he has to go through.
Ass.
So if he's such an ass why does it hurt so much?

i have to sart bloggging when the good stuff happens too.
I've seen him a couple times since my last post.
Justin turned out to be a phsyco stalker boy.
And Chris was supposed to call me a couple days from monday. So if he doesn't call me tonight, I am going to call him tomorrow night and explain why this bothers me so much. I don't want to be a bitch, but he's kind of making me be one.
I understand that he wants to be with his friends b/c this is his last week here and his last chance to spend time with them, but yeah hello duh, last time he's going to see me too and it apparantly doesn't bother him at all.
Jennie

God.....I'm just going to hurt someone.

Chris,
We need to talk, God, I hate that phrase as much as the next person, but we do.
You’re confusing me again, and I don’t like it. I feel like I’m trapped in some warped mind game.
One minute you are this incredible guy and it seems like you’re almost as crazy about me as I am about you. And then the next thing I know you’re being completely distant and it seems like I don’t know you at all.
I definitely don’t know what you want.
You’re leaving in a couple weeks. There’s some stuff that we need to talk about before you leave. Like whether or not we’re going to attempt to stay together or not.
Right now, the vibe I’m getting from you is that you don’t want to. If that’s the case than you need to actually tell me.
And if it’s not the case then maybe you should stop and think about what it is that’s making me think that. Because, and I’m not an expert here, but I’m pretty sure it’s not a good sign.
Chris, I’m not stupid, I know I’m not a top priority and I know that you don’t care about me the way I care about you, but it hurt like hell when I asked you to call me and you said, “If I remember.”
At this point, you shouldn’t have to work at remembering to call me. You should maybe even want to talk to me.
I want to stay together ok? I don’t like being apart at all, but every time we break up it feels like my whole world is screwed up. Nothing is right.
But I don’t know if I can wait four years for a guy who doesn’t love me. And I have no idea if you do or not. Like I said, you tend to send seriously mixed signals. Four years is a very long time to wait for a guy who won’t make promises.
It’s not fair to ask me to do that, Chris.
It’s not that I don’t want to, I really do want to be with you. I just need to know you want it as badly as I do.

Chris still hasn't called me.
I'm really very hurt. I don't like admitting that, but I am.
And it makes it so much harder to say no to other boys when he does this to me. Speaking of, I met a guy. His name is Justin. He's an ok guy. His girlfriend is in the army. He's called me twice so far in the last two days an dwould really like to go out with me.
Chris and I really need to talk about some things. Immediatley.

Ass. Complete ass
I called Chris.
His mother says hold on, walks away for a couple minutes and then gets on the phone and hurriedly says, "he left to do something with Adam" *click*
Bullshit. I don't believe he went anywhere.
I think she's lying for him.
And if he did go somewhere he's still in trouble, b/c he didn't have time for me this weekend, but he's got time for Adam? Um, not cool.

I should call Chris tonight.
I should.

He showed up and surprised me that Thursday.
brought me shiny things.
We went to the Aerosmith concert. That was fun.
And then Chris totally blew it by being an ASS.

want to hear about it?

So I called Chris. Wanted to find out what he was doing this weekend. And he hadn't called me like he said he was going to so I was a little upset.
Well, he was all pissy about something or other( God knows he never tells me what), but so was I.
So I asked "Will you call me later this week?"
And he goes "When?"
and I go "When do you have time?"
He says "Not this weekend"
I say "Yeah, I picked up on that"
"Yeah, I guess later this week then."
"You actuallly going to this time?" <---even as I open my mouth I know this is phrased wrong. But like I said I was irritated because he hadn't called me when he said he would.
But do you know what he reply was?? "If I remember"
It's that much work to remember to call your girlfriend? One would think that at this point maybe you would even want to talk to your girlfriend, but apparantly it's an effort to even remember to call her.

He's home. He called me.
Now I knew I probably wasn't going to get to see him until Saturday, but I asked anyway, and Chris pointed out he had just gotten home and should probably spend some time there and I totally agreed with him.
Then he called me back. He was going to come down here, but he had to take Cody to get his license.
I was so happy though, Chris totally gets bonus points for trying. :-)

My boy comes home tomorrow. Yay!!!!