Duck and Run

My apoligies. I had a momentary episode of insane jealousy. I know better than that. Chris isn't that type of guy. He may give off the attitude of a bad boy, but he still has this moral code. God, I love him.
I miss him so much. He'll be home in a few more days. I'm going to get Aerosmith tickets for the 6th. He'll like that. :-)

Ok. Today is the 26. So where is Chris?
Washington.
Until the 2nd now. Why is he doing this?
3 days ago he couldn't wait to come home, 3 days ago he wanted to see me. Over the weekend he changed his mind.
So who the hell did he meet and whats her name?

and I REALLY hate it when posts disappear and then reappear

I really hate when posts disappear.
Recap: Chris-home-8/26
Me-classes-good

Yay! Yipee! Chris comes home on the 26th!
I hope he's not expecting me to pick him up. I'll be in classes
Speaking of, class was good, different, but good. i kinda like it

Adam hit on me. Totally and blatantly hit on me.
Worse yet, I kinda liked it.
He's Chris's friend, I'm Chris's girlfriend. Even if I was prone to cheating, which I'm not, thank you very much, I would not pick a close friend of his as the guy I was going to cheat with. That's just stupid.
But I wanted to. Very much.
God, we were both high, naturally. (Chris needs to come home soon, I've been getting stoned out of boredom and lately it's been a pretty regular thing) and he kissed me. And I liked it. I can't help it ok? A person likes to feel liked and Adam's a flirt and a good kisser. god, he oughta be, all the practice he gets. Heather Bergner, ewwww(another reason why I would not pick Adam, if I was inclined to cheat, which I'm not)
The boy even whipped it out on me.
"Yeah, um, very nice Adam, now put it back in your pants before you get us both in trouble!"
I really wanted to though. Goddammit, if I can't handle a month and a half without misbehaving, how the hell am I going to handle three months? Or the next four years for that matter?
I don't know what it is, but 2 days after Chris is gone, whether it's a fight, a break-up or a vacation there's forty freaking million guys on the doorstep. Some of them wanting a "relationship"(Justin), others wanting random, meaningless sex, (Adam)
And I try to behave myself(not so much after a break-up, but especially this time around) and it's not that I don't love Chris. I do, I'm crazy over the guy. I just get so bored and lonely, and being naughty is such a kick. (Not that I was naughty....no bodily fluids other than saliva, passed between Adam and I, although I wanted to)
I don't want to not be with Chris, because it hurts like hell when we're not together, but I don't want to stay together only to wind up doing something stupid and hurting the boy. I don't want to hurt him. Ever.

Updating my other site. somewhat....still very behind.

Dude, I was so ripped last night.
Two bowls between the three of us.
And then we did a wake and bake. And a couple more bowls.
We smoked a dime and then some because Scott had gotten some off of Dan's dad for nothing.
But yeah.
It was good stuff.

Yes the boy called me multiple times and I got a whole bunch of postcards from him (one every couple of days)
I got home today and found a message on my machine. He has decided to go up to his dad's for awhile before coming home.
he won't be back until the 26th.
God I miss him.
I miss him a hell of a lot.
It kind of bothers me. If I can't handle three weeks, how will I deal with three months apart?
To tell the complete truth, I don't want him to go. I don't want to be away from each other, I don't want him to be in the military, (it's kind of a dangerous proffesion) I don't want to take the chance that he's going to meet someone else who's better for him than I am.
I'm not going to say anything, of course.
It's what he wants to do. My choices come down to either live with it, or live without him.
And I'd prefer not to choose the second option.

You know, I was thinking about it the other day, he's the only boy who made me work to go out with him.
I've always had boys asking me out, but him it took almost 6 months to get around to it.
And once I get said boys I can usually get them to do just about anything I want. Take me places, buy me things, pretty much jump when I say jump(they don't always leave when I say leave though.........)
Chris, I can't do that with.
Sometimes that is the most frustrating thing in the world, and sometimes, it's what I love the best about him.