Duck and Run

In honor of national novel writers month, I am putting together a shit-ass, half-baked attempt at a novel.
My Shit-ass Half-Baked Attempt at a Novel

I got a phone call today. It was very unexpected. Chris was going to call me tomorrow, but he "was thinking about you and just wanted to call you"
See? thinking about ME.
The bastard does care.
Or not. He may just want a piece.

damn double posts

Life sucks.
But I shouldn't feel that way b/c in reality every thing has been getting better. So...

This is going to change.
Does he understand that?
Dammit Chris. I don't fucking want to break up with you.
You're an asshole. But you're my asshole. And I don't want a new asshole dammit. I want this one.
Jennie

Mmm...dammit.
I miss him.
I want him.
I need him.
I.....am going to stop while I'm ahead.
I can't say it all right? That's a big deal. It's supposed to mean something. When I say it I want it to mean "for now and the rest of my life."
Not "for now and the next 3 months, at least"
Dammit, I didn't think that was so horrible.
Is it really?

Besides, what if I did say it. I want him to say it because he means it. I don't want him to say just because I said it first and he's "supposed to" say it back.
Because that would just not be good.
Really.

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That picture is nasty. Nasty nasty nasty.
Last night I talked to Chris. He was in a much better mood that he has been in a very very very long time. Which is good.
He said he will call me sometime between now and Monday. I was skeptical.
"Don't be getting like that or I'll go and call you at 12:01 AM"
"Er....wouldn't that be Tuesday? It would have to be 11:59 wouldn't it?"
"Shut up"
We'll see.
Damn I hope so.
At least he did call me back, which was very good. Because I was on the edge. If he had blown me off, I would have been so "Fuck this, fuck you, I quit"
I wonder if he gets this? Chris claims he understands why I am irritated about not seeing him enough, but I don't think Chris gets HOW bloody irritated I am.

Jennie

I burned myself.
Actually Grandma Bibbie burned me.
Not that there's this little old lady running around randomly burning people.
Well, maybe there is. But it's not Grandma Bibbie.
I was working up North. LLBC Like I like to do. Because. I just do. And I was in the kitchen. Because I'd rather cook than clean toilets any day. Because I just do.
And Bibbie had a sheet pan of breadstick. This pan was hot. It hit my arm. It burned.
It's not a very pretty burn. Mama Ruth made me run it under cold water for 15 minutes. It still blistered. So it hurt. And it was cold.
Poor Jennie. Oh well.
I think I'm going to ask Chris to come with me next time.
I think Chris will laugh at that and then say no.
And then I will cry.
Jennie

// posted by Psychobabble @ 6:32 PM

"Your brothers. When are they supposed to come back?"
"Not til eight"
"mmm....Ok"

20 minutes and two shirts later (actually three, I was wearing more than one)

"Maybe we should move this upstairs"
"You don't think your brothers would appreciate this?"
"Mmm....no."

I gave Chris a hickey. It wasn't horrible. But it was the first time I've ever given a guy a hickey. I don't like them. They're just...nasty. But I couldn't help it. Vampira strike and deals her victim a painful blow.
Oh, like it's my fault? I ask you, was I the one who, after er...yeah..., decided to show off my brand new really big stereo, but first hadd to hook up some wires, shirtless, naturally? Was that me? No.
I was the one who was so overcome by pure, unadulterated desire for aforementioned shirtless one, that I snuck up behind him and bit him.
I was the one who proceeded to kiss him, which is very difficult when you are behind and above a person, but due to a natural talent, I managed just fine.
I was the one who slowly shoved him backwards to the floor and thoughtfully moved the dirty laundry basket out of the way. And if the damn phone hadn't rang I would have been the one to.....never mind.
It is clearly not my fault. It is all his fault. But you can see that, right?
Jennie

"So, what's the plan?"
"The plan? I go home and miss you now. That's the plan."

This once a month stuff could really get to a girl. Every other week I could maybe understand/tolerate. But once a frigging month?
But I enjoyed it.
God, I miss him already. It's a goddamn addiction is what this is.
I miss the way his hair is always messed up, the way he protests when I take his hat off. Has it ever mattered to me that your hair is messed up? Don't I usually just mess it up more? Hmm?
I miss the way he smells. Kinda like ciggarettes until you get real close and then he smells like soap and ciggarettes and a little sweaty...you know...guy smells.
And I miss the way he wraps his arms around me and holds me while talking to me. And how, when his hands are really f-ing cold, he'll put them on my sides, bare skin naturally, just to hear me holler.
And...and...and...I sound like an F-ing junior higher.
I need to go....I don't know....do something or other.

Jennie

Nope...my post is definitely gone.
I'm going to go hide under my covers and cry now.
Will 'splain later....maybe
Jennie

er? My post? I don't see it.
Do you?

I am frigging phsycotic.

I got hit on by a twelve year old tonight.
Wait, let me explain. It's not my fault.
Nat and I went to see "Sweet Home Alabama" tonight and we got roped into taking Steph, her friend Tara, and Nat's 12 yr old cousin, Danny.
We get out to the car(before the movie) and the little girls (not so little actually....'bout 13) were like "Dan said you were cute"
And I was like, "Well, thank you" b/c the poor kid looked soooo embarrased about it. Anyway. He tries to hold my hand in the car(he was in the back seat and I was in the front) and I attempted to explain to him 1) I'm seeing someone already and 2) he's twelve, that's not legal.
He threatened to beat up Chris.
I laughed.
Then in the movie theater, he somehow winds up sitting next to me and I'm like" Whatever, I can handle the pathetic attempts of a 12 yr old", right?
Halfway through the movie, I suddenly notice that he has slowly leaned ove and is now almost resting his head on my shoulder. This is a little disturbing, but there is no actual contact yet, so I'm ok.
Then, I'm sitting there and I feel his little hand on my leg and it is moving up my thigh.
So I took his hand off of leg, put it back where it belonged and threatened to break every finger on that goddammed hand of his if he touched me again. (I may have said it a little nicer)
10 minutes later is arm is around my shoulder.
I remove it.
This continued throughout the whole goddammed movie.
Dirty little brat...don't ever trust a 12 yr old.
Jennie

I just realized I have over a thousand visitors.
My blog is over a year old.
Does this require some sort of celebratory post?
"Yahoo! I have had a continuos stream of issues/problems through out the past 18 months, which have given me a reason to continue my blog."
Er sorry, that was more depressing than celebratory.

Jennie

Why do you ppl continue to come here? My life is not that interesting. I am not that good of a writer.
I need to go fill out college applications now. Blech blech blech.
Jennie