Duck and Run

Chuck was giving me advice. On love and Chris and shit.
Chuck was giving me advice. I never thought I'd say that.
He's prolly right though. That's the sad thing.
It wouldn't kill me to make the first move. Unless of course I get rejected. Hehe

go to the google search engine. Type in "Jennie Watts" (quotation marks included"
I'm going to go try other people's names. Like..hmmm......Chris Phillips? Chuck Prue? hehehe.....sorry....weird day

ergh....life sucks

I want to cry.
I want to smash something.
I want Chris.
Heh...that last one doesn't have any connection to the others.
I do though. Want Chris that is. Badly.
I have no idea why. I kinda think he sorta wants me, too. Which is a good feeling. We've been doing some pretty heavy flirting and he kind of asked me to go to Ozzfest with him. Sorta.
But now that he hath gotten his ass canned-ed(prolly), I don't know what is gonna happen
Jennie

I think Christopher may have gotten himself fired tonight.
He was supposed to close with me tonight. He did not show up. He was already on probation (I have no idea why, seriously)
I don't think he knew he had to work, b/c we were talking on Thursday about how he was going fishing up Nort all weekend and it was supposed to snow.
Damn.....

I smoke.
Ciggarettes.
2 weeks now.
Dumbassed move.
Disgusting habit it is.
People now know I do.
Uh-Oh. I be in trouble now.

Apparenty not......come on Sher.......you're no longer funny. Hell, you quit being funny awhile ago.

OK ALREADY!!!!
Yes, I like Chris. You know I like Chris. I know I like Chris. Chris knows I like Chris. The whole frigging town knows I like Chris.
It has been pretty much established that I like Chris. Could you drop the subject already? Thank you.
Your cooperation is appreciated.
Jennie

Don't call me a lonely antisocial loser striving to fulfill herself w/any guy who walks by.
I'm not.
I may be a the lonely antisocial part. But I am not a loser and I am sick of the world in general trying to convince me I am. FTW
And that last part? Not my style. I'm still a virgin.
And I have so had opportunities to screw ppl. But I want it to be someone special. Not just your average guy.
so there:P
Jennie

"I like the way you look at me/I like the way you smack my @$$/I like the dirty things/you do when I have control of you"
Sorry, that's been in my head all day.

Ouch.
I just stretched my arms and there was this audible cracking sound that ran up along my spine and even my shoulders cracked.
Ouch.

There's this banquet. A Junior/Senior banquet. Instead of a prom, b/c my school prohibts dancing. We are strongly encouraged to attend.
I don't want to go.
But I do.
But I don't.
It's not going to be much fun, right? Right. So why do I feel that I'm missing something? B/c I'm not. I know that.
Besides, I wouldn't want to go w/any of the guys from school(not that any of them were asking) and who else do I know that would even want to go? With me? To a school thing? Involving my school?

I collapsed at work yesterday.
I started losing my lunch after school, but it was too late to call in, so I went in anyway. And I threw up several times, but I was feeling so much better.
I went back to get something out of the back and I was carrying it back up and I just kinda......collapsed, passed out, something.
Chris attempted to catch me and keep me from cracking my skull(he succeeded) He stood me up and I almost fell down again. He held me up. I am not a light girl(I'm not overweight, I'm just not underweight either)
He is a strong boy. Me likes that.
If I don't get control of this, I will end up having a thing for Chris. This would not be good, b/c I can't for the life of me see Chris having a thing for me back. Maybe. but I doubt it.....
Ergh....
Out-of-control,
Jennie

Weirdest dream last night. Woke up scared out of my mind

What mind?

It wasn't even all that frightening of a dream. I was going up stairs. Steep stairs, narrow, white walls. I felt like I'd been there before.
I was about halfway up(or down), and I didn't know which way I was going. There was something horrible at the bottom. I didn't know what it was, but there was this mixed repelled/attracted thing going on. I knew that if I went down, I would be safe from whatever was at the top, but I would be miserable.
And if I went up I knew I'd have to deal with...something. I wanted to go up, I really did, but I didn't. I knew it was good, but it was painful.

Dammit......why can't I have normal dreams? With giant pink rabbits and lollipops?
WTF is up with these "intellectaul-hidden-significance" (no those are not my words) effing dreams?
Dreamy,
Jennie

Worked a little on original site
Theraputic..haha
In serious need of therapy,
Jennie

// posted by Psychobabble @ 2:25 AM

It's always a bad sign when Bob comes back

Jennie,I'm hurt.

Not again,
Jennie

The only thing worse than the pressure resulting from ACT's and college searching is, quite possibly, Chinese Water Torture. And there are days where I wouldn't mind that if it would get me into a college.
Speaking of dripping water, I did the weirdest thing last night. I sat straight up in bed at about 2AM. Wide awake. And it just felt all gross.
My skin did.
And you know what ladybugs smell like when they're crushed? It freaked me out so bad, but I couldn't find any of them anywhere.
I took a 40 minute shower just to get that feeling off of me. Hot Hot Hot water, until the water heater ran out.....stupid water heater.
I'm going to end up developing hypothermia and dying, in the shower, naked.....and probably alone.

Sure you are, Watts. Have I mentioned how paranoid you are lately?

Bob!!!! You're back!!!
Cold, wet, and naked,
Jennie

Disclaimer: I've never actually done crack, it just seems that way.

I was thinking about death again today. Don't look at me like that. I was thinking of why I wouldn't want to die just yet, ok?
I havn't done anything memorable. If I died today, who would remember me? A few close friends, for awhile. But they would eventually get over it and move on. They're supposed to. I don't want anyone to be completely devestated by my death. It would be so entirely selfish of me to end my misery in such a way as to cause someone I love said misery.
But anyway, I want to have at least a little fame before I die. Come on, who doesn't?
And aren't the most famous people in history a little (sometimes a lot) crazy?
Napoleon-crazy
Emily Dickinson-reclusive
Einstein-the man didn't wear soX.....and have you checked out that hair?
Ok....so I don't have Napoleon's ppl skills, Enstien's mind, or Dickinson's talent, but I gots that whole crazy thing down, si?
I blame the crack.
Crazy in Crackville,
Jennie

Human for Sale says I am worth $2,117,672.00
Any offers?

BW smashed his car headfirst into a tree. So he's on crutches. So, since my locker is right next to his and since we have a lot of the same classes, I carried his books for him.
This obviously means I like him.
DID I MISS SOMETHING HERE??????????
Ergh.
Sidenote: When sneaking out of your house, do not go somewhere you run the chance of meeting pppl who know your mother(and her friends) and can't keep their mouth shut.
Grounded for the next decade,
Jennie

The (belated) Friday Five

1. What are the first things that you do in the morning to start your day?
I crawl out of my bed, stagger across the room and put in a cd to match my mood (today's was POD's "Alive")

2. What are the last things that you do at night before going to bed?
I set the timer on the cd player to shut off after about 20 minutes and fall asleep.
3. What daily routine have you recently added to your day?
Showering (j/k)
4. What routine do you wish you get rid of?
Going to school. I'd like to skip that all together
5. What's the one thing that makes you feel like something is missing if you don't do it some point within your day?
If I don't talk to at least one person important to me I feel really lost.

Why are there weird spaces in my post?
Eff it. I'm going to sleep. And I don't plan on waking up. This is my weekend.
FTW,
Jennie

So my friend asks me to go to his school play. Yeah, sure, why not? I didn't have plans or anything.
I seriously don't know what was wrong w/me. I'm doing great, life rocks, I'm in an oddly good mood. I walk in the door to the auditorium and something snapped. Don't look at me like that. I'm not very good with large groups of strangers, but normally I can handle it. Tonight? Nu-uh. Wasn't happening. Plus I kept getting this feeling every once in awhile that someone was looking at me. Not neccisarly a bad, just odd.

I had one of those packages of the little Certs. The tiny ones they make so small b/c they're so strong. The ones that come 50 per pack? Gone. Granted it wasn't a new pack, but still.

Should've taken Chris up on that drink(s) earlier. And no one would've smelled it over all those mints. :-)

I feel kinda bad though. I did stay through the whole thing and it wasn't bad. The accent almost killed me. It wasn't even a funny line, I just didn't expect it.I mean, I knew the boy's got talents, I just didn't realize humorous accents was one.

Don't you love how my grammar deteriorates in the morning? My spelling too. But yeah, I left kinda abruptly. And I felt bad afterwards.
B/c somewhere along the line I developed a heart and started caring about ppl.

I'm kidding.

I have no heart.

Hah. I wish. Life would be easier w/out one. I've always been that way though. Willing to do things for ppl who, in all actuality, don't deserve it.

And my friends? Hell, I'd stand between a psychopathic(physco) knife-wielding serial killer and a friend's physical self, even if it only ended w/two dead bodies instead of one.

(Is it just me, or did that sound like I've pondered that before? And does that disturb anyone else?)

Mis amigos keep trying to convince me that this is not such a bad trait.

I solemnly swear upon my mother's grave to never again blog after midnight(yeah right),

Jennie

Guess who got her first speeding ticket today. After school, coming back from sapping, 47 in a 25. The cop claims that he clocked me at 53 first, but I slowed down.
So....he gave me a ticket......6 pts on my license (6 more and it gets take away)......$124.80 and no driving for two weeks, except work and school.
Will this change anything? Probably not.
Almost definitely not. It just increases my chances of getting caught

Haha!! Sweet ass. Finally, a quiz that gets it right!

I'm a punk/hardcore fangirl I like screaming, I like kicking it up in the mosh pit, and damn do I like spikey hair.

What kind of fangirl are you?

The Final Curtain Er....what can I say?

So why do I stay? If life here sucks so much why do I stay?
Good question. I stay because I have to. I have no other options.
Leave. Where would I go?
I don't have any friends that I'd be comfortable asking me to let live with them. It would just be wierd. Besides, while most of them know stuff is a little tough here, I doubt any of them really know the whole of it. I'd rather pretend I can do it on my own, and drown in the process, than ask for your help. It's just the way I am.
I'm not stupid enough to run away and try living on the streets. It makes no sense to me. Sure, I'd have freedom, but I'd also be cold, hungry, and unable to contact anyone for fear of being traced. All of which I hate(except that last one....I wouldn't even come close to pulling that one off)
So that's why I'm still here.

Scared yet?
Sorry, some days I should just keep my mouth shut. The general public probally isn't ready to hear the insane babbling of the many voices trapped inside my head.