Duck and Run

hehehehehe......I like this test :-P


A brilliant bolt of lightning descends! SHAZAAM! The oracle has spoken!

The smoke clears to reveal that inside you is a divine being,

PERSEPHONE, Goddess of the Night,

a woman in touch with her deepest inner desires.

As the most sexual of all the female deities, you are very comfortable in the bedroom. Your skill at pleasing a man is unmatched, and you know exactly what you need for your own pleasure. As a woman of passion, you're very comfortable with expressing your desires to anyone. You are a proud and confident woman who exudes sensuality. You cherish the intimacy of physical attraction and know what it takes to win a man. As a woman deeply in touch with your sexuality, you definitely know how to thoroughly enjoy yourself! Your polished bedroom performance always keeps them coming back for more. When everything is going right, a light shines down from the heavens. Behold, the skies proclaim, here lies a goddess!

Are you a sex god/dess?

I don't like suicide jokes. "If the poisen doesn't work, try a gun"
Not amusing. Well, ok, somewhat amusing.
Ever wonder what it's like to fail at suicide? To wake up in a hospital room and realize, you failed at failing.
Ah, memories.
I'm sorry. I know I sound like a whiny little bitch. I'm just so tired about being lectured at, or worse, handed meaningless words about how loved I am.
"We never said you were a horrible person"
No, but you've told me I'm a bitch, I act like a jerk, and I'm "no good to the core." but you never said I was horrible.
Yay for you. You get a cookie.


Know what I want to do?
I want to
fuck
someone
on top of Mr. Widmer's desk.
And then
I want to
take those god-damned
color-coded
plastic
chairs
and rearrange them.


I'm such a badass:-P
Jennie

How stupid do ppl think I am? Do they really think I don't know when I'm being avoided. That really hurts. I never avoided you, and beleive me, there were plenty of times when I wanted to. This would be a good time to return the favor.
I know I'm a little out of it right now, but you've been there too. There were times I wanted to bitch-slap you back to reality, but I didn't.
Whatever. If you want to be like that, go ahead. "Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn" I'm done trying.
You can all just go to hell.
Jennie

I can feel it coming. It's been building up for awhile now.
Dammit, how blind are you people? Can't you see how close I am? You have no idea. Because you don't know me. Don't give me this "you can count on me, I'll always be your friend" shit. You've never been there for me before, why now?
You have no idea what's going on or you wouldn't frigging leave me in a room alone. Dammit. How fucking blunt do I need to be?
I am gonna fucking kill myself if I don't get some fucking help.......soon
I couldn't outright ask for help (except here....to a bunch of strangers......) You're supposed to notice. You're supposed to be paying enough attention to know. How hard is it to love me that much? Just wake up long enough to see what's happening to me.
You don't know anything about me do? You can barely name my favorite colour. You don't know what my favorite song is. You don't know shit about me. Any of you.
God I want to put a frigging gun to my head and just frigging kill my self. Dammit

Been awhile since I wrote. Um....let's see.......my face didn't swell much...barely noticable.....my back is still screwed up and I have to wear a brace. Blech
Uh....went to a bq tourney over by Chicago. bq is like high q, the Old English version. Lost miserably....not completely, just miserably
Have decided I prolly won't be around this time next year....maybe not even 6 mos from now.
Yes I know, it's bad again. But I don't care.
Which, of course, is a sign of how bad it is. See, as long as I still care about whether or not I've reached that point, then I haven't really reached it.
But it could go either way this weekend. Either way.
Jennie

I totalled my car. I was on my way to work and hit some bad ice. I started to skid, and so I tried to steer out of it. I overcorrected and ended up in the ditch on the other side. I hit something and was thrown back onto the road. I almost went into the ditch on the other side, but didn't. By now I have no control of the car and was to freaked out to do anything even if I did. So I'm back in the ditch on the wrong side of the road. I am headed for a telephone pole. My exact thoughts were, in order of occurence: "Shit, I'm gonna die" and "Do they have airbags in a '91 Dodge"
They do. I hit the culvert that was right in front of the telephone pole. The airbag goes off and I'm starting to wonder if I got trapped in a pinball game. The culvert deflects me off into the air and onto the road. I end up facing the way I was coming.
There was smoke pouring out of the engine, smoke coming into the car, so I grabbed the cell and slammed the driver's side door open. It didn't want to open. But I made it open.
And I called my mommy. There were all sorts of liquids leaking from my car at this point. And I'm crying(which I don't do often) and my back hurts and my face hurts(the airbag hit me in the side of the face)and my nose is bleeding and I have a seatbelt mark on me (ok...so I didn't know that then, but I could feel it)
Yeah, it was not good.
So I didn't go into work and I did go to the dr.'s
And I did listen to my dad go on and on for hours.
But hey, I'm alive.
Jennie

I am so happy. I have a new MP3 connection. Yes, I know, you are all laughing at me for not having one. But my napster got wiped out when my comp. crashed and yeah.....
So I'm dling right now. audiogalaxy.com Yay!
Jennie

Note to the male population: The phrase "Is that your hand on my ass?" is a legitimate line. And it works. No, I don't know why. All I know is, it works.
Oh, and I don't think he has a gf.
:-) :-) :-)
Jennie

Ok. So I don't know my "position" on sex. (missionary(bad Jennie!)) So what?
But for some reason everyone wants to give me thier opinion. It's a good thing. It's a bad thing. You will burn in all eterinity for looking at a member of the opposite sex. Etc Etc Etc.
I don't care.
I mean, I'll prolly end up waiting until marriage, b/c I have serious trust issues.
But I'm not going to stand there and tell someone there a horrible person if they do screw their boyfriend and if thats what he's waiting for me to do, he might can just ...never mind.
I'm not going to say what he can go do, b/c, after all, I am the good child.
Lol...yeah I know...I'm not even close. But I like to pretend
Jennie

Jennie, your TV family is the Bundys!

Cue Frank Sinatra singing "Love and Marriage" — your family is most like TV's favorite Married With Children underachievers, The Bundys. Your dad might not sit on the couch all day with his hand down his pants (or maybe he does...), and your mom might not prance around in tight pants and high heels, but Al, Peggy, Bud, and Kelly are still your family's TV soulmates. Which, frankly, might be enough to make you want to give up family get-togethers altogether. But blood, dysfunctional as it may be, is thicker than water, so try to look on the bright side of things: At least you'll never have difficulties living up to your family's expectations. And, really, home-cooked meals and quality time are over-rated, don't you think? So embrace your Bundyness! If you're a girl, make like Kelly and wear a skimpy outfit to go pick up guys; if you're a fella, pull a Bud and do your best to lure an unsuspecting lady into your web. But whatever you do, don't invite the weird neighbors over...
Who's you're tv family?

And oddly enough, that's my dad's fav. show

The wedding was nice. Very pretty. I didn't screw up the sound system too bad. And DL and DB (Mr & Mrs DL now)looked very excited/nervous and actually went through with it.
And I met some one. Actually, I knew him b4, but we haven't seen each other in years. The boy is my freaking twin. We were finishing each other's sentences. And he's a hottie too.
Unfortunatley, I think he has a grlfriend. I will have to check that though, b/c he was very flirty.

You are a Hamster

Come out and play — in your previous life, you were a hamster named Vladimir. Here's what we know about you: Born on the plains of Siberia, you spent your early years weathering harsh winters, drinking vodka, and attending committee meetings. Determined and headstrong, you always got your way when push came to shove. But it wasn't all darkness — no one knew how to let loose and have a good time better than you. You were the reigning Twister champ, and you always emerged victorious from the Bolshevik's annual Dance-a-Thon (your signature step, the Funky Chicken, was a huge crowd pleaser). As you were also quite the health fanatic, you developed and patented a set of exercise wheel fitness videos that quickly became all the rage in Siberia. Your commercial success led you to denounce Communism and head for the States, where you ultimately provided the inspiration for a wacky Web site and song.


Discover your past life!

oi....tonight was interesting. C was slightly....um....plastered. And he got mad when I turned down an "offer" and all of the sudden he started ragging on DP, which makes no sense b/c the boy's never done anything to C. They've never even met. And after I told him to shut the hell up (sorta) he starts going on about "the other guy"
What other guy??? How the hell could I have a "other guy" if I didn't have a guy in the first place?
Apparantly C thought we were more than we were. How? Beats the hell outta me.
It was really embarrassing b/c CP and S were there too.
Guys are so strange. So very strange. Like I should talk, eh? :-)
Jennie

I bought the shrek soundtrack. And Human Clay. AND the new Creed cd. I'm set for life.
Or the next month. Whatever

Why is this site not working

I should not be allowed to have a website. Hell, I shouldn't be allowed to have human contact. Yeah, just lock me up in a little white room and give one of those funky jackets. Sounds good.

I am a physco. I was climbing out of the shower (warning: if you think you might not want to hear this. STOP READING)
tonight and I noticed something. I am scarred. But I don't remember these scars. There are two diagonal one-inch long slash marks side by side that I don't remember aquiring. And that freaks me out. B/c I've always been aware of what I was doing b4. Where the hell did I get these?

(2nd warning: STOP READING if you are at all uncomfortable)

See, the thing is, I know I sleepwalk, I've done it b4. And I will wake up to find myself downstairs with a glass of water in my hand, or it'll be 7:00AM and I'm sprawled out asleep in the middle of the living room floor and not remember how I got there. What else have I been doing in my sleep???
unless maybe they're just some sort of weird bug bite or something. Or maybe I scraped myself on one of the nails jutting out of the side wall on the stairwell, whilst sleepwalking. But they're in such a weird spot. right where they're covered by a waistband.
so I've never really noticed them (hey, there's only one full length mirror in the house) I'm sorry. I prolly shouldn't even be writing this down, but god I am so freaked out by it.
So very weirded out.....

We argued over grilled cheese sandwiches. Is that stupid or what?
I don't like cheese sandwiches, so I wasn't going to eat the cheese sandwiches. This means I am anorexic. Which means I am mentally unstable. Which ticked me off. So yeah. And then I was going to leave, hang out w/some ppl. And he ripped the keys out of my hand. Broke my nail too. Grr...
I may be mentally unstable, but it is not b/c I won't eat cheese sandwiches

I was actually doing good today. No problems. Amazing how life can get so fucked up in such a short time.

I sound like a freaking phsyco. Am I? or am I closer to normal than I realiz? Where does the sanity end and fantasy begin? Does any human really know the answer? Or must we look outside ourselves to find it?
I reasoned, once, that there must be a Perfect Being. The entire human race is striving for "perfection"
(cursed vile illusive thing)
but how do we know what perfection is? Unless we have something to base our idea of perfection on?
(not making sense Jennie)
I'm trying, there's a connection fried inside my head. The thoughts are there, but refuse to come out into words.

I wrote so much last night. Long hand. Filled almost half a freaking notebook, but that was my big nasty sprawling handwriting. I thought it would take care of it. "Purge the posion from my soul" and all that. But it wasn't working. And it was laying there on the kitchen counter. In easy reach. And being the weak vile bitch-child that I am, I grabbed. I didn't get very far, (un?)fortunatley. Seeing the rivlets running down my arm woke me up to the harm I had once again begun. Vicious cycle of twisted pain, powerless it makes me yet again.
So my "episode" ended as quickly as it had begun and I find myself once again on the edge of sanity, looking over and wondering if it would really be that bad to jump.
I'm fine now, really I am. I know I don't sound like it, but it's just left-overs. Memories of hell.
:-) <---See? All better.
Jennie

I see the phantom post showed up. That's nice.
I return to hell tomorow. And I will dress for the occasion, of course. I got a very nice charcoal gray sweater/duster thingy and I will wear that over my black dress w/my boots. I love doing that, b/c it drives them nuts. Hehehehehehehehe

Everything is plastic, we're all gonna die anyway, so why does anything matter?

My last post failed to show up. Anyone care to clue me in?

Sorry about not writing last night. I'm still trying to asses the physcological damage inflicted the DAY BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY. Talk about timing. Oh well, another 6 months of therapy added to the ones I already needed. Maybe I can sue for payment. Hmm.....
Damnit. Why the hell does it bother me so damn much? Grrr....
Of course, my mother came up to me yesterday and was like. "He's sorry, really he is" Yeah, he's always sorry....afterwards...
He was sorry after he dragged me up the stairs (literally dragged), he was sorry after he shoved me down the stairs, and into the couch, and the kitchen cuboards and into the wall, he was sorry last June, when I landed in the ER for smashing my fingers (I hit him, but it landed on the bone.....tore up the cartilege in my knuckles.) He's always sorry. Until next time.